Finding the beauty in illness

In my role as the Culture, Arts and Health Manager at the Princess Elizabeth Hospital, Guernsey and in anticipation of the modernisation of the hospital, I applied for a Churchill Fellowship to research the role of arts, culture and nature within healthcare environments in the USA and Norway.

In early 2020, I was thrilled to be awarded my Fellowship but then came Covid followed by personally receiving a second breast cancer diagnosis. My Fellowship was on hold.

Now instead of visiting a healthcare environment to research, I was visiting one to undergo treatment for breast cancer.

Before I commenced treatment, it felt pertinent to research and gain knowledge about chemotherapy and whilst doing so I observed that mainstream imagery of chemotherapy is commonly focussed on suffering. I started to journal about my observations and experiences pondering things like - why haven’t I seen a person, going through chemotherapy on the front cover of a fashion magazine?!

I approached photographer Elliott Mariess with my journal and a desire to produce some work on my real-time personal journey with breast cancer combined with my curiosity around how we challenge commonly held perceptions of illness. How do we reduce shame from the (in)visible symptoms of illness? And, in doing so, how do we re-frame the lived experience of illness?

We brought together creatives Joni Free, Lu Porritt, Maisie Bisson, Tünde Nemeth, Tyler Ayres to form The Radiate Collective, and from that collaboration the visual project ‘Finding the Beauty in Illness’ was born.

Photographed in chronological order (2021-22), with a high-fashion, photo shoot aesthetic, ‘Finding the Beauty in Illness’ documents and interprets an eight to nine-month journey of chemotherapy and mastectomy to convalescence and beyond. It is sub curated into seven themes to represent important milestones, my journey through life and living while grappling with the juxtaposition of beauty and illness. I wanted to demonstrate going through breast cancer treatment in a visually different way.

The seven themes featured within the project are:

ACCEPTANCE, how do you receive the words, ‘You have breast cancer’? From the moment of being diagnosed what lay ahead began with acceptance.

GRACE, exploring the juxtaposition of beauty and illness. For example, ‘to move with grace’ alongside the idea of mindfully accepting a situation we find ourselves in – particularly one we didn’t choose.

NATURE, about the relationship between chemotherapy and its natural origins and how having this knowledge provides comfort. Recognising the interrelated/life dependent relationship between humans and nature.

COMPASSION, the heart-shaped post-mastectomy surgery pillow, provided for free by charities to aid recovery from surgery, celebrates an act of female solidarity and compassion to others. The act of self-compassion is explored through the decision making in wearing a wig and deciding if you want your illness to be visible or invisible today?

JOY, seeking a daily moment of joy that can be found in many simple places such as dancing and dressing up. The word ‘joy’ helps to challenge some of the common militaristic language around cancer, prompting a question about whether ‘joy’ and ‘cancer’ can harmoniously coexist(?).

CONVALESCENCE, some might say that the end of treatment is just the beginning. Convalescence provides the opportunity to reset and heal not just physically, but emotionally too. It is a time to just be.

OWNERSHIP, extracts of my journal have been made into artworks and used to make the dress showing the juxtaposition of owning one’s own story in contradiction to how others may interpret or create a story for you based on the signs of visible illness.

In August 2023, I finally began my Fellowship travels which felt momentous and rather poignantly the visual exhibition ‘Finding the Beauty in Illness’ will now be touring different hospital environments in 2024.

To find out more visit https://theradiatecollective.com or contact Lottie at charlottebarnes@hotmail.co.uk